A Lifetime of Unhappy Birthdays
by Yoitemichealis
Summary: Reflections on Soubi's life and a dream he's had since he was a Soubi's birthday SoubixRitsuka


**So this year I wrote it in time! I'm celebrating soubi's birthday by wearing a blue butterfly shirt and black cat ears! I'm also extremely heat exhausted and sun burnt so yeah... So anyway! I wanna make a shout out to the wonderful Soubi in my life.**

Enjoy everyone~

* * *

Soubi had always wanted a sacrifice. Ritsu had told him that he was going to be a fighter when he grew up, and had to protect his sacrifice before protecting himself.  
When Soubi was little he would sneak out of his room as much as possible and look for his sacrifice. He would dream of being loved by someone warm and beautiful who would never leave his side. The last happy memory the blond boy had was of his parents.

* * *

It was Soubi's sixth birthday and he had just gotten home from school. He was a little confused because, for some reason, his mom wasn't outside waiting for him. He looked around in confusion. "Mom?..." he called in a small, high pitched voice. "Boo!" Soubi jumped as both his mother and his father hugged him. The blond boy started laughing when his father picked him up and spun him around. "You know what day it is?" asked the blond man while laughing with his son. "Hm?" Soubi looked up at his parents with big blue eyes. "It's your birthday Soubi!" The little boy put on a huge grin as his parents walked him inside the house.  
Soubi kept the huge grin all day, and he was smiling even when his mother was tucking him in for the night. She never tucked him in again.

The next day Soubi came home to see a police officer waiting for him. He told Soubi that his parents had been killed in a car accident and he was going to live with his mother's friend from now on. Soubi cried out and aid that he didn't understand. What did the police officer mean? Of course his parents would come home! But they didn't, instead a blue-silver haired man came home. The man took Soubi to where he lived. The blond boy hugged this stranger and cried, seeking comfort in another person. "Stop your crying!" Ritsu would say. "Get off of me and go to bed!" The six year-old would cry himself to sleep most of the time, not understanding why Ritsu was so mean and unloving.

* * *

Once Soubi was old enough to understand what being a blank fighter meant he became sadder. Still, the blond boy clung onto the notion that there was someone out there who would love him and need him. With each passing day this dream seemed less and less possible. Ritsu started his abuse and Soubi was bullied by the other students in Septimal Moons. Sometimes the younger students would talk to him but they'd always be ushered away by their Sempai. "He's a blank fighter." They would say. "Don't talk to him. He isn't like us." But still Soubi would try to help when other children were injured and would try to make friends even when he was pushed away and ridiculed.

Named pairs started to sound like a fairytale -something he could never have, but so beautiful all the same. To have someone who shared your name and was connected to you by fate, just like a fairytale.  
When sensei's whip cracked down on Soubi's pale back the boy would cry and pray that someone would come and save him. Slowly, very slowly, Soubi came to accept that he was only a human tool. The pain was accepted to, integrating itself into Soubi's mind and very being.  
Then, one day, Ritsu didn't beat Soubi as he had everyday for many years.

* * *

"Soubi... Come here..." said Ritsu in a sweet voice that was much scarier than any threats or abuse. Soubi walked as slow as he could towards his sensei. The boy was only fourteen but he could sense that something about this wasn't right, Ritsu was never kind to him.  
"That's a good boy. Now sit in the chair." Soubi did so slowly and bit his lip. he tried not to tremble as Ritsu came closer. The fair haired man walked until he was inches from the other male then stopped.  
The blond boy jumped when he felt a hand on his face. Ritsu was cupping Soubi's smooth cheek in his hand and the boy didn't know how to respond. He was on the verge of pushing his sensei away and fleeing the room, but he didn't remember the last time someone had caressed him. Soubi was so lonely that he couldn't believe someone was showing him affection. A couple strands of shoulder length blond hair fell into his face Soubi closed his blue eyes. They jolted open again suddenly when he felt lips against his own lips. He shook his head vigorously and pushed Ritsu away.  
"Sensei!" He yelled, but the older male didn't go away, in fact he came closer.

Soubi began to panic and stood up to make a break for the door. But as soon as he took his first step a hand grabbed his wrist and yanked. The blond boy fell to the floor painfully. "Let go of me!" he screamed.  
Then Soubi felt Ritsu pull his jeans down. "S-Stop... I'm scared..." Soubi whimpered. None of these pleas reached Ritsu, who began to take his student. Soubi screamed and began to sob in pain as Ritsu thrust inside of him. 'Someone help me...'

* * *

After that Soubi became quiet and tried to make friends less. It was like Ritsu had taken a piece of his soul along with the cat ears and tail.  
People made fun of him for losing his ears a fourteen. "Couldn't wait, could you?" They would taunt. "You filthy slut!" Soubi wanted to yell at them. He wanted to scream that he hadn't wanted this. He longed for someone to understand.

By the time he was sixteen Soubi had given up on his dream a long time ago. How could there be fairytales if life was just a cruel story? He envied the named pairs immensely.

But then Ritsu told him that there was a Sacrifice who wanted him. A boy named Seimei. Soubi would whisper that name like a prayer as he fell asleep. He dreamed about the dark haired boy he had only seen in pictures. Soubi was sure that he would be able to protect his Sacrifice.  
The seventeen year old was so excited that he couldn't fall asleep the night before he was scheduled to meet Seimei. Once the sun had risen Soubi sat up from where he had been laying on his bed. He brushed his hair and his teeth and put on a nice shirt. Ritsu knocked on his door soon after to tell him that he could wait in the room he and Seimei where meeting.

Soubi was so excited that he couldn't sit still. He went from fidgeting in his chair to pacing and back to sitting down. '_What if he doesn't like me? Am I good_ enough?' Minutes passed and Soubi grew more and more nervous. He was on the edge of his seat for more than thirty minutes before someone knocked on the door. Soubi held his breath as Seimei walked through the doorway and stood in front of him.  
"You must be Soubi." It wasn't a question, Seimei was simply stating that he knew the fighter's name. "Ritsu's told me about you."  
After scrutinizing Soubi for several more minutes Seimei seemed satisfied. "I think you'll be an adequate fighter. Come with me."

That was the start of the most unhealthy relationship Soubi had ever had.

Seimei took Soubi home that night and a month later he carved his name into the virgin skin of Soubi's neck. As the seventeen year old tried desperately not to pass out from the pain, he reached out to his sacrifice. Seimei swatted the hand away quickly. "Don't touch me! You're filthy." Soubi looked down in shame. He should've known by now that Seimei wouldn't hold him.  
Soubi was always left to lick his wounds in solitude after fights and Seimei's abuse. Once Kio and Soubi became roommates the blond man became a little less lonely, but he still was obsessed with Seimei. He hurt himself in the attempt to impress Seimei, but the black eared man just scoffed and ignored Soubi's love.

* * *

"Master..." Soubi said tentatively as he looked up from his book that he had been only half reading. "Yes Soubi?" said Seimei disinterestedly.  
"I-It's my birthday..." Soubi whispered nervously. "And?" said Seimei, a bored look on his face. "Well I... I wondered if you forgot..." Soubi stuttered nervously.  
Seimei didn't answer his fighter; instead he stood up, dusted off his pants and leaned over Soubi. The blond man's heart started beating wildly as Seimei leaned down a few inches from Soubi's face.

Soubi closed his eyes and tilted his head back and waited for the kiss that he was hoping for, but it never came. Instead, Seimei slapped Soubi brutally across the face and scolded him for being out of place. "You're only my dog. Why the hell would I remember your birthday?"

* * *

"Soubi! Soubi wake up!" Ritsuka said as he shook the blond man awake. The black eared boy was worried because Soubi had suddenly started crying in his sleep. The blond man opened his eyes slowly and look at Ritsuka in confusion. "You were having a bad dream..." Ritsuka said and gently hugged his fighter. Soubi had fallen asleep sitting up on Ritsuka's bed while the black eared boy had been finishing his homework. Soubi decided quickly that he wasn't going to tell his sacrifice that it wasn't just a dream. "Hey Soubi..." murmured Ritsuka.  
"Yes Ritsuka?" he whispered. "Happy birthday." Ritsuka said, giving Soubi a peck on the lips before turning away to hide his blush.. _'How did he... Did I ever tell him when my birthday was? ...he remembered._..' Soubi quickly grabbed the black eared boy and held him to his chest.  
Soubi knew just then that this boy truly was the person he had always dreamed of having. That fairytale he had wished for since he was six was becoming reality.

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**I. AM. SO. MEAN. TO**. **POOR. SOUBI. Excuse me as I go cry. Reviews please~ I love to hear feedback!**


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